Red, White and Blue

A post that’s a bit delayed in theme….but up to date on events…

RED.

I’ve got to be honest – 4th of July weekend had me seeing red a few times. While LB moving up and into our home full time is overall a joyous occasion, the actually moving process is anything but. After LB has told me over and over and over again how I/we have too much stuff, I was in no mood to watch him parade in all of his extra things. Yes, I’ve got a lot of things. Like shoes. Probably too many pairs, but they’re shoes! How much space to they really take up??? Most of them are organized quite neatly in storage under the bed! And yes, I’ve got a lot of clothes, but they all fit in my last place fine!

The big issue is that we have this sweet little house that we LOVE that has absolutely NO storage space. One closet that is about half of what I had before. So LB has clothes in our linen closet because, well, we have very few linens! We even bought a clothing rack because we were so desperate for more hanging space.

But the STUFF! Two bicycles, two snowboards, skis, three surfboards, and countless camping gear….it adds up really quickly. It’s no comparison to my modest box of scrapbooking supplies or my knitting needles.

So when we spent the hottest day of the year so far organizing all of our stuff, I think I just about lost it. I was hot, sweaty, and the sweet little house that I had just gotten to look organized looked like a total shit-storm. Again.

Oh, and coincidentally? This was our anniversary.

Give me a break!

Then this last weekend we drove up to his grandparents beach house to pick up – more stuff! Oy. But it’s okay. He’s home right now managing the mess and getting organized so that when I get home tonight I won’t lose my mind. He’s a good boy πŸ™‚

WHITE.

I got an email with a picture of a sweet little girl last week. It was Cupcake. She’s getting so incredibly big and she’s hardly a little girl anymore. Her Mom gave her a bob (tear!) and I felt that pang of irrational thought that says, But she should have long hair!!! Because in my mind, my daughter will have long hair….and Cupcake’s my daughter….but…..I suppose not really. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I should have a say in Cupcake’s hair length. But I can still have feelings about it.

But anyway, it was a sweet email and Dee said that they’d be thinking about me in October as I get married. I’d love for them to be there, but it doesn’t look like they’ll be traveling out here anytime soon. (Honeymoon on the East Coast anyone?? Not this year….)

As usual, I yearn for more stories, more information, and more pictures. Until then, I’ll hold tight to this one picture and marvel at this perfect little girl.

BLUE.

I didn’t post this last week, because I wasn’t really blue about anything. I was more red. More angry. And I had this perfect little child that was innocence and angelic and I was feeling hope and all things white and sparkly. But no blue. I quickly realized I’d rather have no blue in my life than have something to write about just to make some stupid 4th of July theme post.

Unfortunately, the world thought I could use a little “blue.”

Yesterday, my sweet, wonderful, lovely dog had to be put down. He was a rescue dog, as in I literally rescued him from an abusive home. He used to be tied to a door in a garage by a rope. He’d be hit and kicked by the children of the home. Somehow, he found a way to run away. A neighbor caught him, but didn’t know what to do. She reluctantly gave him back. He broke out again, this time when the neighbors sister was over. She said that there was no way that she was going to let him go back to that home. Our dog then went on an underground railroad type of adventure until he landed on my doorstep. I took him in, fed him, and loved him from the start.

He was a great dog. His little doggy brother will miss him very much. As will the rest of us. I’m glad he’s not in pain any longer, but man, losing your dog sucks. I found out last night while driving home from the beach with LB and ThomΓ s…I held my kitty closer and grieved the loss of our dog, while wondering why I ever got another animal, just to go through it all over again.

So there you go – angry, happy and sad. It’s a wonder we don’t explode from all the feelings that we can have at once!

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8 Comments

Filed under a little bit adoption, cupcake, deep thoughts with TG, life with long board, me and Dee

8 responses to “Red, White and Blue

  1. I’m so sorry for the loss of your doggie. I’m sure he will be missed.

  2. I’m sorry about your dog. Sadly I know all to well how that feels. It sucks – 😦

    I’m glad you got a new pic of Cupcake. I have to say, I ALWAYS imagined my little girl with long hair but the reality of a 4 yr old that REFUSES to let me brush it coupled with it being insanely thick has me threatening to lop it off soon. I know she’ll look cute too since we had a preview after the DH hair cutting fiasco… but still, little girls need long hair! Right?

    I’m not commenting on the ‘stuff’ because if you saw the mountain of sports/camping gear at our house, you may thank LB for having so little. When we lived in an apartment, we had to rent a storage locker to house it all….

    • TG

      Yeah, I thought of you when I was writing about my dog 😦

      And I COMPLETELY understand the logistical nightmare of getting a kid ready when they’ve got a long mop – I lived it, haha! And I’m sure someday I’ll eat my words when I’ve got a tender-headed little tomboy that wants her hair cut short. (Where’s my long haired ballerina? i’ll cry!)

      As for the gear…..trust me. We could fill a storage locker. Instead, we’ll be cleaning out Mom’s two car garage and using that space. Give us time and I’m sure between us two couples we could open our own little sporting goods store!

  3. Jennifer

    I am so sorry for the loss of your dog. My beloved 15 year old German Shepherd had a stroke in May and had to be put to sleep. He was the longest relationship I have ever had with a man and I loved him so much. (((hugs))). On a lighter note, I’m so happy that you got a picture of cupcake! I’m sure she looks beautiful even in a bob πŸ˜‰

    • TG

      She does πŸ™‚

      And I knew all my animal lovers would “get” it. I remember when your dog passed and how hard that was too. ((((hugs))))

  4. Yeah, I just lost my parking spot in the garage to the new canoe. Cuz you know, the 3 we already had weren’t enough, we had to add a 4th!

  5. Hi! I used to follow your blog often as I was on adoption.com for advice years ago regarding my own daughter’s placement. .. I followed your story closely as mine is quite similar to yours in a lot of ways… Sadly, the adoption world became too bleak for me to heal and move on so I strayed from it all and quit reading blogs on it too… So I have to say CONGRATULATIONS on your wedding!! I wish you the best! Do you mind me asking-How did LongBoard take learning about your little cupcake and the adoption? (Or did you not tell him?) I am currenty dating and haven’t told my new beau about my own story… Looking to seek advice from one who can help me face my fears… Again, Congrats – from a stranger you never met, but eerily you helped out many years ago through my own journey…

    • TG

      Hi! Thanks for the note πŸ™‚ I can totally understand taking a break and stepping back – I’ve been teetering on the edge of that many times myself (and did to some extent for a while). I haven’t taken that story public at this time because I found it to be SUCH a deeply personal story and something that I couldn’t share without sharing what I consider to be “too much” of LB.

      But I can say this: yes, it’s scary and I kind of hated doing it, but not everything in a relationship is pretty and easy – and it’s how we get through the more challenging times that lets us know that we can make the long haul.

      I’m sorry if that’s terribly cryptic! Best of luck to you and I hope you’re at a good place in your adoption journey!

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