Yes, at 9:40-something, I’m coming in a little under the wire. Apologies to time zones that are getting this after midnight, but I didn’t say what time zones would get this “today!” So for those folks – good morning! And for my West Coasters or those with insomnia: you got your fix, now go to bed! 😉
On the day of our visit, I got an email from a good friend. In it, she shared her hopes for our visit, and in many ways, hopes for the future. In that process, she put down hopes that either I couldn’t articulate, or ones that I was afraid to. In doing so, she opened me up to thinking about those hopes. In reading the email, her hopes so clearly outlined all the things that I wanted to share, felt compelled to share, that I immediately asked her if I could use those hopes as the jumping off point for my visit recap. She graciously accepted, so I owe any clarity that has come to me to her. So thank you. You know who you are!
I hope this afternoon is memorable, wonderful, joyous (even in its sadness) and everything you’d imagined.
The short response to this: It was.
Every visit is this overwhelming conflict of emotions. Without knowing it – or maybe she did! – Dee provided a clarity to the experience by sharing a story about Cupcake. As you all know, Dee and Cupcake will be moving shortly, and she’s had to say goodbye to some friends. She told her Mom that she’s sad, but that if she cries, it’s okay, because sadness is only one of her emotions. She’s also excited about her new house and new school. In her wise four year old words, “It’s okay to feel more than one thing at once.” I’ve been trying to commit every adorable moment of hers, just like this one, to memory…and I’m sure I’ll lose some of it, but I’m holding as tight as I can to those moments.
I hope you quickly snap out of the “shock” after you first see cupcake approaching, because I’m certain your first thought will be “Holy crap – is my girl REALLY this big???”
Okay. So Cupcake is GINORMOUS. It has been nearly a year since I’ve seen her, and while I expected her to be bigger, it’s easy to forget how many different ways a year can show itself. Her height, her vocabulary, her attitude – it was all remarkable.
I hope you and Dee have a good talk that leaves you both at peace with the past and optimistic for the future.
I think that we certainly opened the door for what this might look like. We covered a few topics that had previously been question marks. For instance, Dee and Cupcake might be coming out this way at some point and they said we would try to get together. Dee also asked me if I ever found myself traveling to the East Coast. I told her that I don’t necessarily often travel there, but that I was certainly open to it! So it sounds like me visiting them would be a possibility as well. I still think some details can (and will!) be ironed out once they get settled and options (like the skype potential) are definitely up for discussion.
I hope Cupcake says something sassy and silly that makes you shake your head and smile a big smile.
If Cupcake said one thing that was sassy and silly, she must have said a thousand! She just is sassy and silly. Of course, that could be a Mother’s-colored glasses, because I was just enchanted by it all. She was hysterical in the rain, running behind with her umbrella saying “This is ridiculous!,” as though she were just a miniature adult. She also explained to me many important details about Dora and Diego with extreme seriousness (I should note that we spent most of our visit at a bookstore with me reading to her. This was not lost by the girl that kept track of the 50+ books she read last year ;)) She decided that we should forgo reading about the Gingerbread Man in the fairy tale book, because “He gets eaten in the end, and that’s just too scary for me.” However, upon further consideration she decided, “If you’re not scared of the Gingerbread Man, I’m not scared either. I think it’s probably a good idea that we read it after all.” Whatever you say kid! 🙂
I hope you get a million and one photos (and that you share at least one on your blog, HA!)
Unfortunately, I didn’t get a million and one photos. I only got a few actually. Dee took some paparazzi style while I was reading to Cupcake though, so hopefully she’ll send me hers as well. I would have loved to take more pictures, but I was also focused on just spending the actual time with Cupcake. So I snapped a few shots, and then made a video of her talking to me a little. I love making my little Cupcake videos! I love hearing her talk and seeing how much she grows, not just physically, but in her voice, mannerisms, all of it!
OH! And I will share one on the blog – just give me a few days! (My converter cord is being difficult and doesn’t want to work today).
I hope (and don’t expect a response to this, so No, I am not fishing for ANYTHING, lol) that LB is able to show up and meet Cupcake today, at least for a little while…
LB had to leave Sunday at noon for a business trip he is on, so he wasn’t involved in this weekend’s visit. Also, I’ve never broached that subject with Dee, and she had never brought it up to me. However, at the visit, Dee asked if LB would like to meet Cupcake and said that whenever he did, she’d be completely open to it. Which was pretty rockin’ awesome. I know that sometimes parents are pretty protective about who they allow into their children’s lives, so I appreciate that she trusts my judgment and that LB is around to stay. Also, she thought it would be a good idea for me to show off to LB what I’m capable of, haha!! If future kids aren’t as awesome as Cupcake, we know it’s not my fault!!!
I hope that when you go home and dissect every bit of your afternoon (er…um…or is that just me, lol) that you can say to yourself that today is not goodbye – it’s hello to new beginnings.
At first, I was able to push through the afternoon. I had plans in the evening with my brother and was plenty distracted. But then the night comes and the house is empty and Celebrity Apprentice only distracts for so long. Oh, dissect I did! But I do know that today is not the end, but just the beginning of a new chapter. And I’m okay with that. I think that I got what I needed from today to feel comfort as we move forward. It won’t always be easy, but it will always be worth it.