Category Archives: things that make you go wow

Random Reason I Love Long Board #1 (and #2!)

Who knows, maybe I’ll just post this one. Maybe I’ll post a lot. I numbered this post just in case.

We were sitting on the couch, watching The Prestige.

Long Board had seen the movie before, but was really into it. It was just yesterday, but I already don’t remember if he said something, or did something, but something made me ask, “You really like Hugh Jackman, huh?”

I thought he was going to say something like, “Yeah, he’s a good looking guy” (PS – I also love that Long Board will admit if a guy is empirically attractive – title of post has been updated accordingly). Maybe, “Yeah, I really like his movies.” Even, “Duh! You know I love X-Men! He’s the perfect Logan!” I don’t know – one of the reasons people usually like Hugh Jackman.

Instead he simply replied, “Yeah, he’s a good Dad.”

He could have liked him for a hundred different reasons, but I gotta think this is the best, most touching one he could have come up with.

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Filed under life is good, life with long board, short and sweet, things that make you go wow

Overwhelming Wedding Support

Someday I’ll stop blogging about all things wedding, but not today.

And don’t worry, not until I post some of those pictures I’ve promised you. 🙂

A few days ago, a dear friend posted this picture on her F@cebook:

I immediately “shared” it and commented that not only did I not update our relationship status for a week, but that I didn’t check F@cebook at all on my wedding day. (Nor did I check my Blackberry – a huge accomplishment in itself!)

Wanting to confirm that I wasn’t a dirty liar, I went to my profile and scanned down to October 8th.

My heart was warmed as I re-read all of the posts of congratulations and well wishes, and I realized how many of the amazing people that commented were folks that I’d never met in real life, but knew from my time online in adoptionland. Folks that I have met, but that were friendships that were foraged almost entirely online. It was a really cool moment, and I let it go without commenting. And I didn’t want to keep it that way.

So to anyone and everyone that wished us well on F@cebook – thank you. Truly, genuinely, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I could not be more touched that so many people across the country were thinking of us on that day. It’s beyond awesome.

Oh, and I confirmed that my first post was two days later, safely nestled on our Honeymoon, and I indeed updated our relationship status on October 15 – one week later, just like I thought. 🙂

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Filed under friends in cyberland, life is good, life with long board, short and sweet, things that make you go wow

Okay, NOW I Can Get Pregnant

A few weeks ago, Long Board and I were talking with my family about our plans for our future family. I think it was my Dad that asked him if he wanted to have children. His answer: “Of course!” Dad knew that babies were in our future, but didn’t know how immediate that future was. He asked, “So you want this to happen soon?,” and LB replied, “I’ve been trying to get her pregnant for years!”

Horrified, I slapped LB, rolled my eyes, turned shades that would make Crayola proud and tried to change the subject. But it’s true. Long Board has literally been trying to get me pregnant for years. (Well, two). He used to joke that he was going to be the first man to successfully trap a woman with a pregnancy. I tried to explain to him that’s just not how it works, but he was insistent.

Now, here we are, a couple months away from the wedding and he’s still on the baby train. The jokes have really been picking up steam over the past few months. Just yesterday I picked him up from work and said, “Guess what?” “You’re pregnant???” “No.”

And it’s not with horror on his face. He would genuinely be quite stoked by the idea. I’ve had to get him to pump the brakes on the whole joking about a pregnancy thing – not because I wouldn’t want a baby, but because I bought a wedding dress that won’t accommodate a person living inside of me. Now that we’re in the home stretch I’ve finally given him permission: do you’re best. At two months, my dress should still fit! No one will think we got engaged eight months ago to conceal the gestation period of an elephant! You already told my Dad you’ve been having relations with me for years! What’s the harm now?

Sometimes I can’t tell how serious he is about the whole immediate baby thing. We’ve got a date on the books as when we’d like to “pull the goalie” if you will, and it’s not like it’s THAT far off. Ideally, we’d like to get a little bit of time in for us both to be working, saving money, creating a little nest egg before we’re dealing with a different kind of an egg….but it wouldn’t be the worst thing ever if things happened ahead of schedule.

To the point where I almost want to give up on that whole BC thing…see what happens….I know, I know – normally that’s considered irresponsible. How did I get to the place where that is what’s supposed to happen? I haven’t ditched the goalie yet, but I’m definitely no longer scared of a malfunction, be it user error or otherwise.

What’s the worst that could happen? Long Board and I could become amazing parents!

What should be so scary about that?

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Filed under deep thoughts with TG, life is good, life with long board, things that make you go wow

Houston, We’ve Had Confusion

1n 1995, the move Apollo 13 brought the saying, “Houston, we have a problem” into our everyday lexicon. The only problem? The film created a now famous misquote.

It’s one that’s used over and over and over again in a million different scenarios. Car trouble. Work trouble. Relationship trouble. Where’d-that-darned-cat-go?-trouble!

But I prefer the original: “Houston, we’ve had a problem.” In the original, the problem has already occurred, and now it’s time to fix it. To move forward. It’s semantics that probably don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things, except that those words entered my head on the visit with Cupcake last February.

However, unlike with Apollo 13, I am so proud to report that our problem is one that was worked through.

During one of their discussions about adoption, the visit, and how I carried Cupcake in my tummy before Dee became her Mommy, Cupcake had some questions as four year olds often do. One of those questions was about me being Cupcake’s Mommy too. Specifically, she asked, “When is TG going to come be my Mommy that I live with?

At this point in the story, my ears perked. My antenna turned up. I froze not knowing what the next part of the story would be.

Was this Dee’s way of saying that contact is too confusing for Cupcake?

Are we going to be pumping the breaks?

Do visits with me stress Cupcake out in some way?

Is Cupcake afraid of this vision of the future?

My mind raced to a million different places before Dee could get the next words out.

I refocused and Dee continued by telling me how she explained to Cupcake that we’re both her Mom in different ways. I’m one Mommy, who carried her in my tummy and is very special because of that – so we visit with me and keep in touch and remember that we are very, very special friends. (Yes, I take issue with the “friends” bit a little, but today that seems nitpicky in light of this conversation!) Dee went on to explain how she is her everyday Mommy who she will always live with.

And that was that!

What most interested me in the telling of this story is that Cupcake didn’t ask this with fear or concern or anything. More with curiosity.

Furthermore, Dee didn’t react with fear or concern. She just explained the answer.

This wasn’t a giant red flag that open adoption is a catalyst for confusion and that we must shut it down immediately. This didn’t become some larger than life issue that plagued our visit or our communication. This wasn’t a cautionary tale that I needed to be wary of.

Basically, Dee didn’t let this be more than what it was: An honest question, from a curious child.

And for that, I give her a great deal of credit.

And so today I can sit here, happy that we didn’t get caught in a situation where we have confusion – something that’s ongoing, problematic, systemic. But rather that we’ve had confusion. Episodic. Momentary. Will it happen again? Probably. But I’m confident that once again we’ll deal with it and continue to move forward.

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Filed under all things adoption, me and Dee, things that make you go wow, what openness looks like

Adoption Free Friday: The 11th Hour

Okay, if I was posting this in my normal time zone, it would only be the 9th hour, but since I’m in Kansas for 24 hours – we’re on the 11th!

Since I’ve been up since 4am, I’m not particularly verbose either!

Enough numbers in this post for you?

So here’s a funny little story from my travels before I go to bed:

My co-worker and I arrived at the airport and were in a hurry to get to our hotel, freshen up, and get to our first event. We went over to the D0llar rental car stand and waited patiently for our turn. When it finally got there (how long does it take to check out a car? I swear!) we went through all the formalities – confirming our kind, price, and the ever present pitch to take them up on the weekend deal. “I can put you in a F0rd Edge for just $20 more a day!” I politely and patiently declined, saying we were only here for 24 hours, we’d be fine in the full size I’d reserved.

Which of our full coverage insurance packages would you like?

None, thank you.

GPS?

Brought my own.

Buy the full tank of gas?

Only driving a few miles.

In other words, “No, I will not take you up on any of the options that may enhance your commission for the day.”

We finally got out of there and started walking to the lot. Out of curiosity, I glanced down at the keys to see what kind of wheels we’d be rolling in for the next 24 hours.

A picture’s worth a thousand words?

Believe me, my co-worker and I have said (laughed, cursed, exclaimed) far more than 1000 words as we cruise around in our 2010 Mercury Grand Marquis.

Lesson o’ the day: Don’t piss off the guy that’s choosing how you roll.

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Protected: Wedding Wednesday: Barf Bags at the Ready

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Filed under life is good, life with long board, things that make you go wow, wedding wednesday, worth a thousand words

Out of the Blue

I emailed Dee.

I don’t have a very good reason to have emailed her and I certainly didn’t have a game plan going into the email. I didn’t think about it beforehand and I didn’t scrutinize what I wrote. I just typed and typed and typed and when I had a nice three paragraphs of updates, requests, and questions, I sent it.

It seems to simple.

Of course, as soon as it sent I went through all the emotions and thoughts. I sat at my desk unable to type or think or cross anything off of my to-do list. I felt lightheaded even though I’d just eaten. I felt confused and nervous. I immediately ran to a safe space where I could share my newest action with friends that were riding alongside me in the boat of open adoption. I got it out there into the world that I had done something.

Once I got the quick and dirty version out, I came here. Because here I can get it all out, not just PC versions or censored versions but everything that’s going through my head.

I started typing.(I guess you know that part since you’re reading it….now this is getting confusing because I’m meta-blogging…..hold on, I need to get back in front of this again!)

PS – this is happening pretty much in real time.

I sent the email at 1:25, I posted on my forum thread at 1:31, and while I was writing that last bit, at 1:36 I received two pictures of Cupcake.

She’s impossibly grown up. She’s stunning. She’s a little lady.

It’s been ten minutes now since I received the pictures and I feel like I’ve yet to catch my breath. Like my head is even lighter than it was before. Like this is a magical place where we can email on a whim, respond on a whim, and hopefully, move forward in a meaningful way.

I’m hopeful and optimistic and ready for this piece of the puzzle to fall into place.

 

 

 

 

 

And we might have to forgo the “Adoption Free” part of tomorrow. 🙂

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Filed under all things adoption, cupcake, life is good, things that make you go wow