Category Archives: wedding wednesday

Wedding Wednesday: Me, Me, Me!

ETA: I’m an IDIOT and definitely wrote this yesterday (Tuesday), when I legitimately thought it was Wednesday…this week is CREEPING by…..

This wedding is like, really happening. For reals. And while much of the wedding planning has been “Long Board and I this” or “LB and I that,” there’s a lot of wedding “stuff” that he is completely exempt from.

Like I just got word that my first bridal shower invitations are in the mail!!!

Yes, I’m one of those annoying people that’s having two showers, but not by my choice! My sister, and Maid of Honor, are going to throw me one as etiquette suggests. Baby Sis has a few roles in this thing, and that is one of them. And one that she has been very much looking forward to. However, my Mom’s best friend and her daughter also really want to throw me a shower. My Mom threw one for the best friends daughter over a decade ago, and perhaps it’s again etiquette that says you return the favor. I don’t know, but here I am, with two showers.

So that’s happening.

Plans for the Bachelorette Party are well under way. To be honest? I was kind of “eh” about the whole Bachelorette Party to begin with. Since when did these become weekend-long events, I wondered. Is it really necessary to go out of town for an entire weekend of girly activities? And do I have to do girly activities? I drink, but I’m not a huge drinker. I get angry when I go out to a club and it becomes the pressure to drink more game. I yawn if it’s past midnight. I’m not the best party girl anymore. I think I left those days when I moved back to my home town….

Folks said we could do something more relaxing. A spa day. Wine tasting. Yes, and those things sound lovely…but….I don’t know. It’s not like I don’t desperately need a massage. And I won’t turn down a nice glass of wine. It just didn’t feel….I don’t know….me.

Then I got the idea of a lifetime. A theme so “me” that I don’t know how I didn’t think of it sooner. But is it Bachelorette Party material? I was almost nervous to ask my sister what she thought. It was pretty out of the box. My heart was set on this idea though. She laughed, approved, and that’s how we ended up with my:


Yes, we’ll be going to a tailgate for my fave college football team. Food and drinks all day, football in the afternoon, a PERFECT fall event. And I could NOT be more excited. We’ll still do some of the cheesy stuff: matching shirts, I’ll wear a stupid “Bachelorette” sash, we’ll giggle and be silly. But I won’t feel like it’s forced or that I’m out of place.

I’m very excited. 🙂

Let’s see, what else is “me?”

Oh, the dress fitting. Any day now my dress should arrive. Then I’ll have to go do the fitting, and if God is on my side, my new P90X regimen will have kicked in a little. I’m trying to watch what I’m eating (see: failure) and I’m trying to work out consistently (as in LB and I did one workout last night with one scheduled for tonight). We started P90X which is infomercial style workouts 6 days a week for like an hour a day. I’m not looking forward to this, but if it can make me look bangin’ – well, I’ll deal with it. I’ve NEVER been much into exercise so this will be quite the challenge for me. It turns out that eating horribly actually DOES catch up to you one day when you realize you can no longer eat junk food exclusively. For me, that day was a few months ago. It was depressing. Now I’m working on it.

I also need to work out that whole make-up and hair thing, but that starts WWIII with my Mother, so let’s just put that off as long as possible, mkay??



Filed under life is good, wedding wednesday

Wedding Wednesday: Keep Calm

Last week I had a crisis. I had too many wedding things to do and they were all swirling around in my head without one dedicated place for them to land. Yes, I had my ginormo portfolio of all things wedding, but I don’t have that in my purse when I’m in line at T@rget buying air fresheners to keep Thomàs’ room linen fresh! I don’t have it when I’m at work at I’m struck by the fact that I haven’t heard back from the DJ! And gone are the days where I felt like, “oh, this can wait – we’ve got time.”

We’re past the 100 day countdown. The time to procrastinate is passing. So I rushed to the bookstore to find solace in the notebooks section. I looked and looked and looked and nothing was “right.”  Too bulky, the lines were too big, it was ugly. Nothing fit the bill. I gave up.

I went back to work and the wedding tasks popping into my head began to multiply. Post-its scattered my desk increased exponentially. I realized that giving up was not an option!

I returned to the same bookstore (what was I thinking?) and went back to the same place where previously I had found nothing. Then I saw a sliver of pink peeping out from behind a red notebook I had cleanly rejected earlier. I pulled it out, hugged it immediately, and I don’t think it’s been more than three feet away from me since!

(Yes, I accept that this might make me a crazy person. But Bridezilla I am not!)

It’s soft pink color. It’s calming messaging. It’s familiar theme. It grounds me when I’m losing my mind.

I immediately started jotting down tasks:

  • schedule cake tasting
  • schedule pre-marital counseling
  • confirm a back up officiant
  • select food for tasting
  • update wedding website
  • follow up with DJ
  • follow up with photographer
  • send sister bachelorette party list
  • find hotel for guests

And BAM, BAM, BAM – I started knocking stuff off. We’ve got a meal, we’ve got a DJ, we’ve got a hotel and on July 30th I will be tasting a Pumpkin cake with cinnamon cream cheese frosting and salted caramel. Does life get much better than that?

Of course, this rash of accomplishments didn’t come without casualties. My Mother and I are starting the loving process of really getting on each other’s nerves. My Father has started to be passive aggressive in response to his feeling that he’s being “left out.” He’s also responding by ordering doves.

After a weekend absolutely full of my family, my parents decided that we really needed to get together to talk wedding. (Again). So that’s where Long Board and I found ourselves last night. It was actually productive, but not without some snapping, arguing, and pouting along the way.

As we drove to our house, to finally have some semblance of a normal night, LB said, “Well, I get why people say this is the most stressful time for a couple…”

I do to.

But we acknowledged it, went home, and sat on the porch. Long Board watered the lawn, I read a book on our stoop, and we both kept an eye on Thomàs who is allowed to sit on the porch. Looking at our little family having a peaceful night, it was easy to forget about the hectic week we’d just gotten through. And so I remember to keep my eye on the prize: Not the wedding, but the marriage – and a lifetime of normal nights. Like reading on the porch and watering the lawn at sunset.



Filed under family ties, life is good, life with long board, wedding wednesday

Wedding Wednesday: I’m a Decision Machine

Yeah, yeah, yeah, technically it’s not Wednesday, but I ended up working late last night, hitting the gym while watching the Canucks game, got home and did more work. So this got bumped. But since it’s timely, and it’s my blog where I make the rules, I say, what the hell. Let’s bring it on.

Over the long weekend, LB and I had a plan: to check as many things off of our “to-do” list as possible.

And I think we did damned good.


  • Finished our registry

I *thought* we had done this long ago. I was so completely in love with our first registry, that I didn’t see any sense in registering elsewhere. But Mommy Dearest chimed in with her two cents and informed me that apparently it’s inconceivable to not also register at M@cy’s….I mean, what if someone has a M@cy’s credit card that they want to use! I suppose I didn’t realize that I needed to make it as easy as possible for everyone else. I mean, sure, I’m not saying let’s register at some Mom and Pop shop that doesn’t have a website where everything is hundreds of dollars or something. But I tend to think that our top choice of Cr@te & B@rrel is pretty accessible. If there’s not one near you, they’ve got a pretty easy website. No biggie.

But Mom won out, as Mother’s often do, and we are now set with a list of our dream towels, linens, and even a crock pot courtesy of M@cy’s. But NOW I am confident to say that we are DONE! (Well, LB is going to add some pots and pans since he knows what we need in that department, but I am done!!!)

  • Picked out LB’s tux

I walked into the suit shop thinking that we were going to do some research into what our options were.

We walked out 45 minutes later with a tux, vest, tie – the whole enchilada – picked out and ready for sizing by his best man. I suppose renting a tux is NOT like buying a dress in that regard. Though, in all fairness, I did buy the first dress I tried on, but that’s not how I approached the situation. So I was a little taken aback when the sales lady was pushing a pen in our hand within the first couple of minutes. I don’t think she was doing it to be pushy though, I just think she’s used to dealing with men.

Men that by definition don’t “browse.”

Long Board seemed COMPLETELY comfortable with this tactic, so I let him lead the way.

It is his tux after all! 🙂

  • Picked out invitations

This is one of those things where you’d think that I would have full reign and be allowed to pick out whatever I want.

NOT so when you’re dealing with a guy like LB.

Knowing this, I pre-selected a few invitations so that he wouldn’t be overwhelmed by the wide world of wedding invites. Because holy crap there are a lot of them. I also kept Mom’s requirements in the back of my head. It needs to be classy. It needs to be “us.” It should preferably have raised text (just looks nicer). Thank the baby Jesus Long Board liked the first one I showed him. Mom LOVES it – though she did quickly respond with, “Now, I can’t tell from the website, but that text, is it raised? I just looks so much nicer when it is….” – so it looks like a little more research is needed before it gets the FINAL final approval, but we’re darned close.

  • Picked out guest favors

I knew one thing when I was going into picking out guest favors: I didn’t want to “waste” my money on something that 73% of the people attending would throw away in the 24 hours immediately following the reception. I also – perhaps controversially – am not the biggest fan of getting something edible. I don’t know why! Most people LOVE that. But it seems like I never end up actually eating whatever that thing is. I hate to unwrap the beautiful commemorative wrapper on the chocolate bar. (Plus, I don’t really like chocolate bars). I still have a bag of Polish candy from LB’s best man’s wedding that was in March 2010. I still have a jar of jam from one of LB’s friends that got married last August. I did eat a piece of chocolate that was given at a wedding we went to on New Year’s, but I was just so hungry, haha! I don’t know WHY I don’t really eat foodstuffs from weddings, I just don’t. So I can’t really see us giving something edible either.

On the other hand, I don’t want to give everyone some weird chotchky either. SO, we’ve selected something that has a quasi sentimental value to us, is practical that everyone can use, and something that we’d love to get ourselves. But that’s all you’re getting for now. 🙂


Of course, I’d like to feel incredibly accomplished, but I still have a list a mile and a half long of things that I need to do, so the joy was short-lived. But if I can knock a couple things off the list each week….well, we might just have us a wedding!


Filed under life is good, life with long board, wedding wednesday

Wedding Wednesday: What’s in a Name?

First of all – I’ve put the wedding in a spot in my brain under the heading, “Still really far away.” So while I deal with details calmly and one by one, I do it without any real pressure. Then I realized that the wedding is 136 days away. (Thank you handy dandy Cr@te & B@rrel registry reminder!) 100 days away seems like a real countdown number. A number that means the wedding is happening – and just around the corner! And 36 days is like nothing! Barely more than a month! I literally know what I’m doing every day for the next 36 days. So I’m booked until the countdown date! And so two small manageable numbers combined still make the wedding seem…..close? for the first time since the engagement.

(Did any of that crazy even make sense to you??)

So. Back to the point at hand. Decisions, decisions everywhere.

And there’s one decisions that’s been “made”…..but is still sort of discussed. Mostly in lots of jokes and teases. But at the end of the day, it’s actually a serious topic. And that is: What the hell to do with my name?

Logic dictates that I will basically become Mrs. T G Board. (You know what I mean).

Truth be told? I’ve never been that psyched about the idea of losing my name. It’s my name. Also, my Dad has no legal sons. (That reads really strangely to me, but I didn’t want to say “biological” as I didn’t want to suggest that non-biological children wouldn’t carry on the family name, and my Dad does have sons, they just have their biological Dad’s last name). Anyway, because my Dad has no sons that will carry on his last name, a very young TG once professed that she would keep her last name to continue on her Father’s lineage. I turned pretty crunchy granola in the 6th grade, starting the KSE Club – Kids Saving the Earth (we met weekly under a large tree in the playground) and becoming as passionate as a 6th grader can about women’s rights. I couldn’t do much, but I could find ways to recycle and I could promise that I would keep my last name. So that’s what I did.

I know that the declarations of an eleven year old girl aren’t set in stone, but I feel a tug towards that sometimes….

On the other hand, I love Long Board (and don’t hate his last name ;)) so I wouldn’t mind going that way either. His suggestion was that I do as his sister did, and move my current last name to be a middle name. Which would be kind of doable except that my last name could never be mistaken for a middle name and just doesn’t really work as one. Also, my parents already gave me two middle names, making my name already not fit on my drivers license, leading me to be harassed by various security guard/police personnel in bars/liquor stores/casinos for having a fake license. (To which I always want to respond, “If I was making a fake license, wouldn’t I just use a shorter name???”) Anyway, I have no desire to have five names.

His next suggestion? Drop one of my current middle names.

This just feels like an extra slap in the face.

“Mom. Dad. I’m getting rid of my last name sort of, and one of the middle names you picked for me, and then I’ll move the last name over to the second middle name position that never really gets used anyway, in order to keep that part of me. Thanks!”

Nah. Not for me.

Want a sillier reason?

When I was in high school, my Mom wanted me to date (marry?) this guy that I was in choir with. He had a funky last name, but the first initial of his last name combined with my first and middle initials would have spelled a word. My sis and I ALWAYS wanted our initials to spell words. We thought it was freaking awesome. There are only four last name letters that would make my initials a word, and this was by far the coolest of those possible words.

Of course, I thought that guy was a dork and would never in a million years have dated (married) him. (Truth? He wasn’t that dorky, but I had a crush on his older brother ;))

I didn’t think about those initials for over a decade – until I met Long Board. The night we met, when he told me his last name? I thought – Holy crap. My initials would spell a word…..

And here we are.

So I’m torn between the beliefs of a pre-pubescent environmentalist and a high school girl that wants her initials to spell a stupid word! Good reasons, eh?


So I had to throw away the hypotheticals and come up with an opinion as a grown ass woman that’s actually going to get married. And I’m incredibly stuck. Fortunately, Long Board is incredibly supportive of whatever I decide. (He even offered to take one of my middle names – a pretty girly one – and add it to his current middle name so that we’d have the same initials. Yes, that same word, haha).

Most of the time, I suppose I lean towards taking his last name. We want to have children and I want my children to have the same last name as their parents. Hyphenating is another option LB would be supportive of, but that poor kid would have a HELLA long last name and we don’t want our poor first grader having to memorize/learn to write a seventeen character last name.

Side note pulling at my thoughts?

I’ve spent some time with Long Board’s sister, and let’s just say she’s got some VERY strong opinions on this issue. Apparently LB’s brother’s wife did NOT take his last name. Their plan is also that their children will have her last name. Long Board (and his brother) have a very….white? last name. Their children will not be white. The wife’s last name will reflect the children’s heritage and the culture in which they will be raised. So they decided that the children should have that last name. LB’s sister? Is NOT okay with this. She once lectured me on how disrespectful it was, how she couldn’t ever imaging being that disrespectful to her husband, and basically told me what she would think of me if I didn’t take LB’s last name. (Mind you, we weren’t even engaged when I got the big lecture.) And yes, I wanted to send the Ninja her way reeeeeeal bad right about then.

Of course, this kind of makes me want to not take his name just to piss her off. Yes, I’m a sort of bad person.

At the end of the day, I’ll probably take LB’s last name.

Not because of my initials spelling a word….

Not because I think it means I have more respect for LB than if I didn’t….

Not because i think a woman should have to take her husband’s last name….

I’m not even 100% sure why I will. Maybe because he loves and respects me enough to support any decision. Because I like the idea of our family being one cohesive (non seventeen letter ;)) unit under the same name.

But I will always respect anyone’s decision to do anything that they like with their last name. Lord knows I understand what a big and complex decision it can be!


Filed under deep thoughts with TG, face slapping ninja, family ties, life with long board, wedding wednesday, when I grow up...

Wedding Wednesday: Thanks Royal Wedding…

Since there was no way in the world that I was getting up at 3am to watch the Royal Wedding last week, I sat on my laurels slept in my bed knowing that I could watch the whole thing on one of the four different broadcasts my parents had on their DVR. Yes, four. (For the record, I think Dad liked the PBS one the best, Mom, the BBC).

The night before the wedding, Long Board and I were on the phone and he asked what I was going to do that night. I thought he was crazy since it was about 10:15 and he should know by now that means I’m going to go to bed in about 8 minutes. So I thought a stupid question deserved a stupid answer: Thomàs and I are going to go to bed and get up in a few hours to watch the wedding.

“What wedding?”

WHAT wedding?

“The Royal Wedding.”

“What Royal Wedding?”

Okay – I can understand not planning on watching the wedding, not knowing what time it started, maybe not even knowing what day it was on? But just having NO CLUE that this was happening at all? Seems impossible in this day and age of being constantly beat over the head with build up technology. I know LB spends a great deal of time every day on news websites, so this perplexed me.

I caught him up on what was happening, and he seemed mildly interested – mild enough for that to be the extent of his exposure.

Fast forward to Sunday dinner at the parents house. The Royal Wedding playing in the background, Dad tearing up any time anything of any importance happened, LB staring me down, beer in hand, wondering how he ended up snuggled next to Nana on the couch discussing millinery.

I was ready to sit down myself and enjoy the actual wedding, which was about to begin. I would not however, as the viewing apparently inspired my Mother to launch into a rapid fire attack of the following questions. Which are, of course, now all I can think about:

  1. How many ushers are you having?
  2. What are they wearing?
  3. You know they should really be wearing tuxedos, they’re wearing tux’s right?
  4. How many flower girls are you having?
  5. Who are they?
  6. Have you called your sister in law to ask her about your niece being in the wedding?
  7. Have you decided where you’re getting their dresses?
  8. Do you know their sizes?
  9. Do you know what color they’ll be?
  10. Are they all going to be the same design or just the same color?
  11. Are they going to wear gloves?
  12. Are you going to wear gloves?
  13. Have you decided on the theme of your bridal shower?
  14. Have you gotten a hotel for out of town guests?
  15. Are you doing brunch the next morning?
  16. If you did, where would you do it?
  17. Have you decided on where you’ll honeymoon?
  18. How many days can you take off work?
  19. What’s the plan for the rehearsal dinner?
  20. Have you talked to your Dad about the music?
  21. Did you listen to that CD he gave you?
  22. Have you set up a time to meet with the rector yet?
  23. Have you scheduled your counseling?
  24. Have you picked out what verses will be read?
  25. Who is going to do the readings?
  26. When are LB’s family coming into town?
  27. How long are they staying?
  28. Do you have all the addresses on the guest list finalized?
  29. Do you need any one cent stamps?

Can I stop there to rest my brain????

Rest assured, this is not a comprehensive list.

I will make it to October, I will make it to October, I will make it to October…..


Filed under family ties, life with long board, things that make my brain hurt, wedding wednesday

Wedding Wednesday: Where to Wed?

Where I would get married has always seemed like one of those things that I just knew. It seemed incredibly obvious. I would get married in the church where my Father worked when I grew up. Where I was baptized. Where I went every Sunday for church and Sunday school. Where I played in the summer on my days off. The church where I knew every secret passageway, office, corridor. Where I was an acolyte. Where I would fall asleep in the pews during Evensong. Where I was in the choir. Where I was a lamb, “generic” angel, and Archangel in the Christmas pageant. Where my parents got married. Where I imagine of when I think of “church.”

Then the “buts” started flowing in….

– But Dad has a bad history with how he left the church….

– But I haven’t been more than a handful of times in 16 years….

– But LB isn’t particularly religious and I don’t know how he’d feel about getting married there…

As the “buts” began piling one on top of another, it just seemed logical – easier? – to move the venue of my childhood fantasies/assumptions to the reception site. They do a beautiful ceremony and I got very comfortable with the new vision of what my wedding day would look like.

Unbeknownst to me, my Dad was not so comfortable with the new plan.

I would get married in a church.

Now, he wasn’t going to force me or anything. I always got the, “it’s up to you” speech, but that took less than supportive forms. Like ,“I would have thought that you’d want your marriage to be a covenant, but if you don’t, that’s up to you.”

So, we were back to the church plan! However, Dad suggested that the ceremony take place at the substitute church where we’ve been going sporadically. It’s in our city and yes we’ve gone there a few times…..but NO. Get married in a church? Sure. But if I’m doing that, I’m getting married in my church, not the substitute.

See, my church is old and beautiful and has the charm of an Episcopal church. I feel transported to a different place and time. It’s got beautiful floors and stained glass windows and traditional architecture. (If there are any old school Desperate Housewives fans among us, you might recall the church from when Gaby got married to the older politician guy actually). It’s just the right church.

The substitute? It’s a big A-frame type church with ugly carpeting and weird skylights. It’s also where my grandfathers funeral was, which depresses me. And I don’t like the rector – probably because he bumbled through the aforementioned funeral. There’s nothing wrong with most of it really, it’s just not for me.

But getting married in my church wouldn’t be a slam dunk.

Some obstacles were easier to overcome.

I was mildly shocked when I told LB about the change of plans and the importance to me and my family to have the wedding in the church and he was totally on board. He had no problem with it whatsoever. He was less than pleased about the required counseling, but has come to accept that fate.

The church doesn’t care if you go every week or if you haven’t been in years, just so long as either the bride or the groom was baptized. While LB was baptized as a Methodist, I was baptized at the font that still resides in the back of the church, so I’m good to go on that one! Plus, LB and I have gone to church there a few times to show our faces.

The last one we thought would be tricky. Dad’s not on the best terms with the church in general. There was some drama when he left and we weren’t sure how long-lasting the effects would be. Tentatively, Mom and Dad went to the church and talked to the new rector. Apparently, there has been another change in leadership, and Dad and the whole family have been welcomed back with open arms.

So, the wedding is on! And on October 8, I’ll get married in the church I always I assumed I’d get married in. The church that hold so many memories for me. We took a roundabout way to get there, but we did it!


Filed under family ties, life is good, life with long board, wedding wednesday, when I grow up...

Wedding Wednesday: An UGLY Confession

There is something surrounding my upcoming wedding that is absolutely filling me with guilt. I’m almost too afraid to actually discuss it, but I’ll go out on a limb here and try to trust in this safe space. And no, this time I’m not dripping with sarcasm. I really DO feel horrible for what I’m about to confess.

Long Board fits in WONDERFULLY with my family. He hangs out with them when I’m not around, encourages us to have dinner with my parents (almost weekly!) and could not be more supportive of the myriad family events we go to.

Baby Sis and I were discussing this one day and she said how great that was. “You know what they say! He’s not just marrying you! He’s marrying the family!…..And that goes for you too you know.”

Which is where it gets ugly. Because at that point sirens are going off in my head and all I can hear is my head screaming, “But I don’t wanna!”

Yes, I’m a bad person that is BEYOND THRILLED that LB loves my family as much as I do, while I’m hardly willing to offer the same thing in return.

To be fair, I don’t feel like his family has reached out to me in the same way that my family has to him. If anything, my family errs on his side in arguments, supports him completely, and credits him with lots of good things in my life. His family? Thinks I’m an evil succubus that’s responsible for his likely departure from his PhD program. His family is the kind of family that thinks they’re children walk on water. His brother’s wife kept her maiden name? She’s an evil devil-woman that has no respect for her husband. His sister that’s having marriage problems and can’t handle her two children? It’s that lazy good-for-nothing husband that leaves her with no choice but to send the kids away for a few weeks.

The role the in-laws have played in this family to date are not awe inspiring.

My family is loud and weird and quirky, but I’m starting to think they’re damn near perfect! At least perfect for me!

Our families have different expectations for family members, have different outlooks on religion, politics – you know, all the hot button issues. But perhaps most concerning to me is the wildly different way that we raise our children. I can ignore their religious beliefs, their politics, etc., my children will be their grandchildren, nieces, nephews, etc. And his family is not afraid of voicing their opinions. Hell, they’ve already criticized me for not allowing my children (that mind you – I’m not parenting yet!) to be free enough. (I SWEAR I’ve already talked about this but I can’t find it right now, so y’all can just deal with my repetition!) Apparently I wasn’t supportive enough of LB’s Mom when she foisted her 3 year old granddaughter up onto some rock face and told her to climb…I got too concerned when the children (one and three) went far out of sight and didn’t respond to being called.

Most of these things I’m pretty set on saying, “I don’t care – they’re my kids and we’re going to do what LB and I are comfortable with.” But there’s one big one that I just can’t let go of: In his family, it’s completely normal to send the kids off to the grandparents for a month, a summer, any lengthy amount of time really. And this begins at a very young age. LB’s sister just had her 2 and 4 year old daughters spend a couple weeks in Florida with a grandparent. They spent a month last summer with LB’s Dad. Hell, she was going to have me and LB drive her youngest halfway across the country to join back up with her! Mind you – I had NEVER met his sister and she was going to trust us with her? That freaked ME out! And I am NOT looking forward to LB’s Mom being offended when I don’t send my kids across the country so that I can get a “break” and so that they can spend two months with Grandma.  To be fair, LB isn’t super into the idea either, but remember, it’s never the member of THEIR family that’s wrong!


I’m rambling and ranting and getting stuck on one thing though….and it’s not just that one thing.

It’s just that…..GOD this sounds horrible…My family is warm and they call me on my birthday and they are supportive and welcoming. His Mom hasn’t called on his birthday in years. She seemed wildly indifferent to me when we met. She says that I’m “fancy” with this look on her face like it’s the worst thing you could ever be. His sisters ask me why I think we “work” and I tell them that it’s because we can be ourselves around each other. That LB can let his silly side out – and they get offended that I insinuate he doesn’t always act himself. They tell me that he’s not silly (um, YES, he is. BELIEVE me) – like he’s too focused and intelligent for nonsense.

That’s not to say that his family isn’t made up of good people. They are. But his Mom’s not my MOM, and I don’t need her to be. And I have seven siblings already…I just don’t feel connected to his three…I miss having more grandparents, but I don’t feel like a granddaughter to his. It’s even more complicated because my Mom DOES treat him like a Son, and he has a sibling type relationship with one of my brothers and he LOVES my little sister and calls her his little sister. Nana holds his hand at family dinners, and my biggest sadness is that Papa died before we got engaged.

I feel like he is forever linked to my family, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

But me? I don’t fit into his family. We don’t have that much in common. If I fell off the face of the earth, their lives wouldn’t change. They’d keep on going.

But losing LB would now leave a gaping hole in my family.

A part of me wishes that went both ways. But a bigger part of me just feels guilty that I want it to be the way it is. With LB marrying my whole family, and me just marrying LB.


Filed under blah, brutal honesty, family ties, life with long board, wedding wednesday